“I took hold of that scourge -filled ship and crushed it between my limbs, hurtling it into the second sun, the red one that gave me strength. But I was too late." Terraformer
Colleen's blog
Winner of Pack Your Bags contest!
February 26, 2014
Loved, loved, loved all the responses to where you’d go on vacation and who you would take! A few people commented that their answer would definitely be different if we were talking people and places found in books. Oh my word, so true! I would have an even harder time choosing because books really transport me but just thinking of real-life people don’t. I think we’ll have to delve into that sometime….
So up for grabs is a prize pack… I’ve got a scarf, a bracelet, and a set of adorable Ren and Kishan’s and a book of your choice.
And the winner is…..
Maddiewho shared…
If I could go anywhere with a beautiful stranger I would go to Bora Bora. I would just love relaxing and exploring the beautiful island!! I would go with David Boreanaz – since Ren and Kishan aren’t available.
Congratulations, Maddie! Please email me at contests@colleenhouck.com with your mailing address and which book or audio book of Colleen Houck’s you’d like to receive to claim your prize.
New York Times Bestselling author Colleen Houck is a lifelong reader whose literary interests include action, adventure, paranormal, science fiction, and romance. When she's not busy writing, she likes to spend time chatting on the phone with one of her six siblings, watching plays, and shopping online. Colleen has lived in Arizona, Idaho, Utah, California, and North Carolina and is now permanently settled in Salem, Oregon with her husband and a huge assortment of plush tigers.
Romance: Oh boy. So here’s the development of the romance.
Slave/Gladiator steps up to kill her maimed horse
She likes horses
He’s a sort of horse whisperer
They’re in love
Come on Hollywood. A girl needs just a little bit more reason than that. Still somehow even though she’s only seen the guy twice and heard him say maybe a total of 20 words she already knows he’s “everything the Roman senator is not.” I’m not really sure if either character actually had any chemistry with each other since I pretty much felt nothing but disappointment and disbelief regarding the two of them.
Special Effects: The volcano going off was good. Saw it in 3-D so there were a few projectiles in my face.
What I Liked: I liked Atticus okay. Really liked the horse. In my opinion the horse was the only one that had any common sense. Oh and I liked her lovely villa overlooking the ocean. Pretty fountains. Should have shown us a bit more of that.
What I’d Change: I don’t even know where to begin. Actually I’d probably scrap the entire gladiator angle which was a sad, sad copy of the Gladiator and instead focus on the, I don’t know, VOLCANO.
So you already know how I feel about the romance. Adding to that, the character Cassia, was emaciated. Seriously, her lips were thicker than her waist. She also looks like she’s sixteen tops which is entirely too young for Kiefer Sutherland, who by the way didn’t convince me he was a Roman let alone a villain, but I digress.
Even if I ignored the irritating gladiator rip off, the whole volcano blowing up happened WAY…TOO…SLOW. I’m no vulcanologist but it seems to me when the earthquake starts happening and you see the top blow, its pretty much over in a few minutes. The characters had plenty of time to run miles, stop and assess the situation, still a few kitten coughs with water, have long drawn out fights, recapture the girl, rescue the girl a second time, say goodbye to the dead parents, find a horse, lose the horse, chase a chariot, run to the boats, see the harbor destroyed by a tsunami, dodge flaming rock bombs, evade chunky hail, and, lest we forget, set up the bad guy in such a way as to make sure the death that is coming for them all, gets to him too.
I thought the whole point of Pompeii was that it happened so fast that the real bodies they discovered were burned or turned to ash in whatever positions they were in. They painstakingly recreated that effect in the movie but it didn’t make sense really since they had so much time to run. The frozen in place thing felt weird. Like posing for death.
Cassia’s mom was Trinity in the Matrix. I was sort of hoping she’d hijack the movie and do something cool like maybe kick everyone in the face. She did seem like the only one with a brain in the film because while the Senator was knocked out she told her husband to kill him but (spoiler alert) he couldn’t do it quickly enough and ended up dying instead.
Also where did Atticus who wore no shirt the whole time, suddenly get a fancy tunic thing? And even though we just saw a dirt road littered with debris and bodies and, don’t forget, an entire boat that sailed into town on the tsunami, somehow Kiefer Sutherland with his new fiancee abductee was racing pell-mell down the town street in a four horse drawn chariot with nary a blocked path.
Then the horse, my favorite character, who threw a rider when he barely sensed an earthquake and was so upset upon his return that the horse whisperer guy had to be called in, had no problem jumping over various holes and steaming fissures whilst a volcano was erupting and bombing things all around. I guessed he sensed his rider whispering comforting thoughts amidst impending death.
The tagline is incorrect. It says “No Warning. No Escape.” While its true there was no escape for pretty much anyone, there was plenty of warning. I was actually hoping the gladiator promoter who had the sense to try to get out ahead of the crowd would make it. He kind of deserved to get away I thought.
Hunky Hero: Sigh. Though this fellow has an undeniable six pack the half man bra does nothing for me and really…what is it protecting? Also why so many buckles? Who ripped his man-skirt off in such a way as to leave rough edges? Can he not grow hair on the part of his chin under his lip? Why does he want to protect the girl anyway? He really seems like an every man for himself kind of guy. Falling for a pretty face doesn’t really fit with his character I don’t think. All things considered, I’m still more team Kellan Lutz.
The Villain: Every time I see Kiefer Sutherland, I grin. I can’t help it. I like him. He’s an actor from my generation and he’s just the kind of guy you want to trust. When he was after the pre-teen girl, I was just like, “Ew. Why Kiefer? You’re so much better than that.” Kiefer doesn’t look even remotely Roman.
The better villain was his sidekick, Proculus. I watch him on Grimm and he is not only a good-looking guy but I can believe he’s got a dark side. Even though he had very few lines, he was much more intimidating.
Best Line: Whew. There weren’t many. I guess it would be when Atticus killed Proculus and said something like, “Let’s see if a Roman can die like a gladiator.”
Best Scene: Probably when the pyroclastic flow destroyed the movie, I mean the town.
Recommended for YA fans: If you’re gunning for a volcano movie then I’d suggest renting Dante’s Peak.
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Trailer
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Grandma’s Review
Grandma’s Bio: My name is Kathleen and I’m Colleen’s mom. I’m a mother of seven and grandmother of seventeen with one bun in the oven (not my oven). They’re all great. None of my kids are duds-you know, like the popcorn kernels that don’t pop. My father taught me to love science fiction and mysteries. I’m a dreamer whose secret wish was to be an actress and sing and dance on stage. I have lots of things I still want to do. A few of my favorite things include-discovering new restaurants, going to movies, traveling, seeing plays, children, my dogs, Elvis, reading books, The Beach Boys, and Rhett Butler because he doesn’t give a damn AND he can carry Scarlett up the stairs.
Definition of Kicky-providing a kick or thrill, exciting
Review: Pompeii, the movie, was very enjoyable. It had beautiful visual effects and a compelling story. The hero and heroin were well suited and believable. I loved the gladiator character, Atticus. It was such a tragic story and made me sad at the end but well worth seeing. I will give it 7 out of 10 kicks.
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A Guy’s Perspective
Bio: I’m Colleen’s husband, Brad. I’m the youngest of four kids. I’ve been Deaf since I was five so I watch every movie with caption glasses. I love sports and reading (I’ll admit I’ve read Twilight but prefer thrillers like Jack Reacher). My favorite ice cream is mint chocolate chip. I’ll never turn down a taco. I write poetry. My man credentials include: a high school career in wrestling, watching sports every time my wife is too busy to notice, a receding hairline, two repaired ACL’s, and a stockpile of Axe body wash.
Review:
I admit I expected Pompeii to be a cinematic disaster, nearly as much as, if not more than, the Legend of Hercules. The comparisons between the two films are virtually inevitable, given the inherent time periods, geography, mythology, and violence. Pompeii, in 3-D, was not all pomp and circumstance, however. Some scenes were too laughable to believe, but then, that was to be expected. At least, there was no awkwardly fake Nicean lion to be had. In fact, I never really noticed I was in a 3-D film—and I’m not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing, though in Hercules the cheesy 3-D lion was glaringly obvious. The fiery meteors pummeling the city looked pretty realistic, and I felt like I was witnessing a city meeting its demise.
This was Gladiator meets Dante’s Peak meets Deep Impact. Given the casting, it could also be dubbed Grimm (Roiz) meets 24 (Sutherland) meets Lost (Akinnuoye-Agbaje) which would make a fitting title (“A Grim 24 Hours Until All is Lost” or something like that…). Perhaps because the actors were familiar to me, I found I cared more about the characters and their fates (of course, we all know they end up in a heap of ash). The main character simply known as “Celt” (who probably reminded me of me during my wrestling days—short, gritty, and tough as nails—but I digress…) was likeable and I found the relationship between him and the determined, spit-fire Cassia believable. Even Mt. Vesuvius–a grumbling, rumbling character with fire shooting out of her mouth—loomed prominently in the breathtaking cinematography like a veritable Mt. Doom.
The concluding scenes brought the movie full circle with corpses wrapped in a fiery, passionate embrace, thus making the opening scenes relevant. Thankfully, the gladiator battle scenes didn’t overtake the movie and I appreciated the brief, yet somewhat compelling, character developments in both major and minor characters. This film earns a well-deserved 7 Hulk Smash Fists out of 10.
New York Times Bestselling author Colleen Houck is a lifelong reader whose literary interests include action, adventure, paranormal, science fiction, and romance. When she's not busy writing, she likes to spend time chatting on the phone with one of her six siblings, watching plays, and shopping online. Colleen has lived in Arizona, Idaho, Utah, California, and North Carolina and is now permanently settled in Salem, Oregon with her husband and a huge assortment of plush tigers.
Double Feature Movie Review: Vampire Academy & Winter’s Tale
February 16, 2014
Movie Review: Vampire Academy
Colleen’s Movie Review
Romance: Each of the girls had a romantic interest, so I’ll go with the blonde, Lissa, first. Her guy was Christian and he is very cute and swoonworthy with a good amount of fan girl potential. His romance scenes were a little too teenybopper for me with the exception of one really good kiss when she wasn’t expecting it.
The brunette, Rose, had a love interest much too old for her named Dimitri. Despite this, their chemistry was good, near combustible even, and probably due to his age it felt much more mature than the other couple. But these two just do not belong together, at least not for like a dozen years. I liked him and his broody accent, but when the two of them were together it felt a little like a kid crushing on a teacher, just a tad wrong which I guess isn’t always a bad thing. Really good scene for the two of them was when she passed out for no apparent reason and he caught her in his arms, said, “My Rose,” and carried her upstairs in dramatic fashion. Why hello Russian Rhett Butler.
Special Effects: There really weren’t any with the exception of some sad CGI werewolf creatures.
What I Liked: Rose. Rose. Rose. She is funny, interesting, heroic, smart, and she pretty much carried the entire film. Not having read the books first, which is unusual for me, I didn’t know what to expect. Rose blew me away. Loved her and the fresh take on vampire mythology. I liked the movie and the story well enough that if I hadn’t already bought the books and had them sitting on my shelf, I would immediately head out to the store to pick up the series. Also the redhead guy who obviously likes Rose is so cool. He’s a much more appropriate choice romantically.
What I’d Change: For a newbie like me there were a lot of things I had to guess at. I’m not sure how the religion is tied to Russia or Vladimir for example or why they even call it church and not history. I don’t really know how the elements work into anything. I don’t get why the bad vampires hunt the good ones or how protectors are chosen and trained. An extra ten minutes of world building would have made me very happy.
The tagline is very lame. “They Suck At School” did nothing for me and in fact I think it dumbed down the film, making it less than what it was. Also I think that tagline scares away adults which is a shame. I’m not sure why editors and Hollywood believe that all YA fans are kids. I’d say well over 50% of my readers are adults, some even seniors.
Oh and way, way, way too much cleavage for kids that age. Holy Hannah.
Hunky Hero: Like I said earlier. I really liked Dimitri. He’s no Kellan Lutz but his accent makes up for it. He’s sweet in an old world kind of way. Christian is going to really grow into a Hollywood Hunk in my opinion. He just needs a few more years.
The Villain: The villain surprised me. I’m not going to give away who the bad guys were but I will say the end was unexpected. I like that. A lot. It’s hard for a movie or television show to catch me unawares and this one did. Of course that isn’t the movie’s doing, that’s the author so yay for Richelle Mead.
Best Line: When the redhead kid said, “Solved the mystery and still only get a kiss on the cheek? Seriously?” He’s awesome.
Best Scene: Dimitri picking up Rose and carrying her up the stairs. Very sweet.
Recommended for YA fans: Absolutely. First, if you’re a fan of YA it’s imperative that you attend YA movies if you want more to be made. Second, its just a good film and I think you’ll like Rose as much as I do.
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Trailer
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Grandma’s Review
Grandma’s Bio: My name is Kathleen and I’m Colleen’s mom. I’m a mother of seven and grandmother of seventeen with one bun in the oven (not my oven). They’re all great. None of my kids are duds-you know, like the popcorn kernels that don’t pop. My father taught me to love science fiction and mysteries. I’m a dreamer whose secret wish was to be an actress and sing and dance on stage. I have lots of things I still want to do. A few of my favorite things include-discovering new restaurants, going to movies, traveling, seeing plays, children, my dogs, Elvis, reading books, The Beach Boys, and Rhett Butler because he doesn’t give a damn AND he can carry Scarlett up the stairs.
Definition of Kicky-providing a kick or thrill, exciting
Review: Vampire Academy was better than I thought it would be. It kept me entertained. I enjoyed the best friend of the vampire princess. She had some funny, thoughtful lines and was a real character with some depth. I enjoyed her male protector also. He was very good looking and likeable. As for the story, it was confusing. Why do the vampires have to be in a school? I got lost with the story and would have liked more details. I would recommend this movie to adults. It looks like there will be a sequel. I will probably go see it. I give this movie 4 kicks out of 10.
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A Guy’s Perspective
Bio: I’m Colleen’s husband, Brad. I’m the youngest of four kids. I’ve been Deaf since I was five so I watch every movie with caption glasses. I love sports and reading (I’ll admit I’ve read Twilight but prefer thrillers like Jack Reacher). My favorite ice cream is mint chocolate chip. I’ll never turn down a taco. I write poetry. My man credentials include: a high school career in wrestling, watching sports every time my wife is too busy to notice, a receding hairline, two repaired ACL’s, and a stockpile of Axe body wash.
Review: What can I say about Vampire Academy, except that I am clearly not a member of the film’s target audience? I was frankly bored by the quick dialogue, frequent attempts at humor (another reviewer suggested it was actually funnier than it had any right to be), and the shallow characters.
But to be fair, the aggressive marketing and film trailers of Vampire Academy did not do it any justice. I expected to be overwhelmed by teen angst, raging hormones, and sneering mean-spirited girls with axes to grind. Fortunately, such was not the case. The storyline was surprisingly adequate, although some aspects just flew over my head. Followers of Vampire Academy might be far more enamored.
I would give it 4 Hulk Smash Fists out of 10.
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Movie Review: Winter’s Tale
Colleen’s Movie Review
Romance: Okay this the kind of movie where you have to suspend logic and disbelief and that is true regarding the romance as well. These two are fated to be together somehow and yet that aspect is never really explained. They meet as he is robbing her home and he hears her play the piano. She sees him, has some charming dialogue, invites him to tea, and BAM they are in love. Now I get that she’s bold and daring because she’s dying but consumption is not a pretty way to go and this girl is very pretty. No blood, no coughing, not even a pale cheek which is a little funny considering Colin Farrell himself just died of consumption too in Saving Mr. Banks and it was a messy, very unpretty kind of death.
Despite the how and why aspect of love, Peter and Beverly had some very nice scenes and I liked them being together.
Special Effects: There were some cool demon things going on with Russell Crowe’s face. The flying horse with ethereal wings was nice. Oh and the judge’s shadow and teeth were wicked.
What I Liked:
The horse! Really both of them the black and the white. I love horses and seeing one working as almost a character in a movie was cool. The scene when the two horses were moving in sync was awesome.
Beverly. She was a breath of fresh air. Ironic since she was dying but I loved her. I was drawn into her character.
The trick of the art with a woman’s sweep of red hair meaning not what they thought it meant was interesting.
The costumes. They were lovely. I really enjoy that time period and it reminded me of the costumes in Titanic.
Will Smith as Lucifer was a shocking and fun surprise. Completely unexpected and he was great in the role.
What I’d Change: I didn’t get it. The backstory was insufficient. Are the stars angels? How do they come down to earth. Why? What’s the point in trying to win people to the dark side? Who cares if there are more stars in the sky? Why hunt down Peter Lake? What’s special about Peter Lake? How does this miracle thing work? Why did he cut his hair 100 years in the future? How does he not know who he is or have ID but he has an apartment in NYC with clothes? And, worst of all, his parents putting him in a tiny boat on the ocean as a newborn was the stupidest move I’ve ever seen. I don’t care how badly you want your kid to be in America, you don’t put him in a little boat. Seriously! It was a TOY boat! One tiny, insignificant wave and baby boy is fish food. Put the kid on somebody’s doorstep or drop him at an orphanage if its that important, or better yet, let him grow up with his parents who seemed like very decent not-too-bad-off parents. What was so horrible about their situation they’d essentially toss their kid overboard?
Hunky Hero: Colin Farrell has an undeniable sort of charm about him. Especially when he works with kids. Unfortunately, his haircut, the shaved sections, reminded me of when he was Bullseye in Daredevil.
The Villain: Russell Crowe was a good villain. If he and Colin Farrell were to actually have a real fistfight, I’d put my money on Russel Crowe with Colin getting in a few dirty punches. Will Smith was the real surprise. Loved him in this role.
Best Line: When Beverly said, “If you don’t make love with me right now, no one ever will.”
Best Scene: Probably anything involving the horse.
Recommended for YA fans: Hmm. If you’re looking for a strange, inexplicable fantasy film with just enough romance to feel awkward sitting between your husband and your mother and/or if you love horses, this is the film for you.
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Trailer
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Grandma’s Review
Grandma’s Bio: My name is Kathleen and I’m Colleen’s mom. I’m a mother of seven and grandmother of seventeen with one bun in the oven (not my oven). They’re all great. None of my kids are duds-you know, like the popcorn kernels that don’t pop. My father taught me to love science fiction and mysteries. I’m a dreamer whose secret wish was to be an actress and sing and dance on stage. I have lots of things I still want to do. A few of my favorite things include-discovering new restaurants, going to movies, traveling, seeing plays, children, my dogs, Elvis, reading books, The Beach Boys, and Rhett Butler because he doesn’t give a damn AND he can carry Scarlett up the stairs.
Definition of Kicky-providing a kick or thrill, exciting
Review: Winter’s Tale was much more enjoyable for me. The story was a bit confusing but I got into it more than I did Vampire Academy. I liked the main characters and could identify with them. There was a surprising twist in the story. Just when I thought the movie was over, a secondary story starts. The scenery was pretty and interesting. There were many people who attended this movie. It was fun to see Will Smith in it. I give this movie 8 kicks out of 10.
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A Guy’s Perspective
Bio: I’m Colleen’s husband, Brad. I’m the youngest of four kids. I’ve been Deaf since I was five so I watch every movie with caption glasses. I love sports and reading (I’ll admit I’ve read Twilight but prefer thrillers like Jack Reacher). My favorite ice cream is mint chocolate chip. I’ll never turn down a taco. I write poetry. My man credentials include: a high school career in wrestling, watching sports every time my wife is too busy to notice, a receding hairline, two repaired ACL’s, and a stockpile of Axe body wash.
Review: Thirty-four years ago, Al Michaels immortalized the question, “Do you believe in miracles?” at the Lake Placid Winter Olympics. Viewers of Winter’s Tale are also asked to believe in angels and demons, faith and fantasy, flying horses and mythology, redemption and destiny, reincarnation and time travel—all in a modern world where skepticism abounds. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely believe in miracles, but it was a lot to take in and it does not all come together quite as seamlessly as it thinks it does.
An unapologetic fantasy-romance, the film has star power aplenty, including an unexpected Will Smith playing the role of Lucifer, but my favorite character was the all-knowing white Horse, which not only performs magical acts, but mutely points a self-proclaimed professional thief, Peter Lake (Colin Farrell), to the residence of his soon-to-be girlfriend. She is not at all flummoxed when she confronts the thief, probably because she, a cancer patient with six months left to live, has little to lose. Peter is drawn to her courage and a romance ensues—not the whirlwind point-A to point-B type of romance so prevalent in many films, but a gradual interest in the other that is borne from conversation and discovery.
There were enough twists and turns to keep me interested and the film, despite its flaws, did not disappoint. The ending actually left me satisfied.
New York Times Bestselling author Colleen Houck is a lifelong reader whose literary interests include action, adventure, paranormal, science fiction, and romance. When she's not busy writing, she likes to spend time chatting on the phone with one of her six siblings, watching plays, and shopping online. Colleen has lived in Arizona, Idaho, Utah, California, and North Carolina and is now permanently settled in Salem, Oregon with her husband and a huge assortment of plush tigers.