Colleen Houck


“Chapped rats and bats' wings, brandied worms and adders' stings, Goat's wool and owl's hoot, fish's tongue and dog's foot. Into the potion, all you go, add clockwork hearts, positioned so…" The Lantern's Ember

Colleen's blog


  • Movie Review: Jurassic World

    July 23, 2015


    Jurassic World

    Colleen’s Movie Review

    I always give spoilers so consider yourself warned. =)


    Romance
    :
    For me the romance between the two main characters played by Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard was half-baked at best. The one kiss they shared was so ill-timed that it just felt wrong and I didn’t buy for a second that these two once dated. They were so dissimilar I can’t see him going for a girl like that at all. She’s way too…prissy for him.

    Special Effects: You would expect the special effects to be amazing and they were. The dinosaurs were my favorite part of this movie. I loved the motorcycle scene with the raptors and all the high tech enclosures as well as the park itself.


    What I Liked:
     The special effects, the dinosaurs, the park, the music, the nostalgia of it, and the trained raptors. By the end of the movie, who you ultimately cared about was the dinosaurs, not the people. The T-Rex and the raptors were the only ones with their heads screwed on straight.

    What I’d Change:

    • All the characters except Chris Pratt. Still how is he the animal trainer guy and he has no idea they have a brand new, fully grown hybrid on the island?
    • The script. There was nothing in it that made me relate to or empathize with the characters in any way. Those that weren’t extremely annoying were just idiots. I was actually rooting for the dinosaurs to eat them.
    • Everyone seemed extremely unaware of how dangerous the animals are. Even the kid who was supposed to be cute just did dumb things and he was the smartest one there.
    • From the first scene when mom and dad put their young sons on a plane to another country, by themselves, to go to a park with dangerous dinosaurs, I found it completely nonsensical.
    • The theme was dumb. Supposedly the film makers were trying to teach us all a lesson about excess and the mindless pursuit of entertainment at any cost…do they not sense the irony? The money spent on toys at a theme park is no different than the money spent on dinosaur toys for a movie. The real theme should have been humans are stupid.

     

    The Tagline: The park is open.

    The tagline should have been

    Still milking it.

    With a sub-header that says, “Super expensive thrills-r-us. We know you all will go see anything with over the top special effects and/or dinosaurs so our plan is to do this over and over again until we have enough money to actually open one of these parks.” Reference-Godzilla.

    Hunky Hero: Chris Pratt is the hunky boy-next-door kind of hero. The one who was your faithful, nerdy, best-friend-in-high-school-who-turned-out-to-be-extremely-good-looking-as-a-grown-up-and-if-you-were-smart-you-would-have-dated-him-back-then, kind of guy. I loved him in Guardians of the Galaxy, I loved him in this, I’d love him as Indiana Jones, heck, I’d love him in pretty much anything. In a box, with a fox, in a house, with a mouse…you get the idea.

    The Villain: The villain in this film is the newly manufactured hybrid dinosaur they invented called Indominous Rex. I actually felt sorry for it.

    Best Line: 

    Masrani: You created a monster!

    Henry Wu: Monster is a relative term. To a canary, a cat is a monster. We’re just used to being the cat.

    Best Scene: The raptor training was my favorite part. That and the dino battle at the end. It was predictable but I loved the ocean dinosaur as well as the raptors switching sides.

    Recommended for YA Fans: Sure, why not. Go and root for the dinosaurs.

    Compared to the Book: If you haven’t read Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton, it’s really a fun read.

    Trailer:

     

     


    A Kid’s Perspective

      Gingerbread making

    Aidan’s Review: (Age 11)  

    Q. Who is your favorite character and why?

    A. Owen because he is cool and trains dinosaurs.

    Q. Who is your least favorite character and why?

    A. Vic Hoskins because he’s pretty stupid. He tried to use the raptors as weapons and you can’t do that.

    Q. What did you like about the movie?

    A. The battle at the end between the In Dominus Rex and the T-Rex.

    Q. What did you not like about the movie?

    A. When people got eaten and Vic Hoskins.

    Q. What did you think about the story?

    A. “Delicious” (mom demanded an explanation of this answer). “The dinosaurs feasted a lot on humans. My answer is of course sarcastic mom.”

    Q. What part made you feel emotional or awkward?

    A. When the dinos were feasting.

    Q. What would you say to your friend about this movie?

    A. It was funny, crazy, and is full of small human-like reptile snacks.

    I give this movie 4 1/2 out of 5 stars.

    Lex’s Review: (Age 8) 

    Q. Who is your favorite character and why?

    A. Owen because he is really good with raptors and smart. He’s the only one who actually tells everyone to leave when the In Dominus Rex escapes. Plus, he’s the “Star Lord” from Guardians of the Galaxy which is my favorite.

    Q. Who is your least favorite character and why?

    A. Vic Hoskins because he’s extremely idiotic!

    Q. What did you like about the movie?

    A. Nothing too much. I liked when Owen was training the raptors.

    Q. What did you not like about the movie?

    A. Practically everything. I just didn’t like the story.

    Q. What did you think about the story?

    A. Only 1.5 out of 5 stars. Here’s three reasons why: first, the two boys are lame. They don’t listen when they are told to go back when they are riding the glass vehicle. Second, the story was way unrealistic. And third, there are too many stupid people who think they can just have dinosaurs around them and not get eaten.

    Q. What part made you feel emotional or awkward?

    A. Nothing did. Well, except when the boy kisses his girlfriend and the beginning. That was awkward.

    Q. What would you say to your friend about this movie?

    A. It was horrible!

     A Guy’s Perspective

    2014-02-01 22.54.02

    Brad’s Bio: I’m Colleen’s husband, Brad. I’m the youngest of four kids. I’ve been Deaf since I was five so I watch every movie with caption glasses. I love sports and reading (I’ll admit I’ve read Twilight but prefer thrillers like Jack Reacher). My favorite ice cream is mint chocolate chip. I’ll never turn down a taco. I write poetry. My man credentials include: a high school career in wrestling, watching sports every time my wife is too busy to notice, a receding hairline, two repaired ACL’s, and a stockpile of Axe body wash.

    Brad’s Review: 

    Jurrasic World

    Following the typical formula of Jurassic plots, this film was the most predictable film I’ve seen in the last ten years, but of course, that was not necessarily a bad thing. You know the formula—a family goes to a Dinosaur park, some people get lost, something goes horribly wrong and all chaos—and dinosaurs—breaks loose; family members and scientists venture out to rescue the lost sheep while trying to avoid getting chomped (well, not entirely), but the chaos is unresolved to pave the way for future blockbusters.

    To counter this predictability, filmmakers surged the electricity with more human deaths than the previous Jurassic films, and with monstrous dinosaurs thrashing each other, creating a cinematic visual-and-sound effects-infested experience like no other.  For me, a Deaf movie buff, the effects were pretty thrilling. I was overwhelmed with vibrations assaulting me from every angle–through my seat, my soda cup, the bucket of popcorn, and even the hairs on my chest. It came really close to my 4-D experience at Universal Studios in the T-Rex vs. King Kong ride.

    There’s not much else to say. The actors/actresses were fine, though the script was a bit vapid. Even the attempt to infuse some romance was laughable. I loved the horde of raptors (What exactly do you call a group of velociraptors…?). But if you want a movie with believable drama and a real plot, look elsewhere. 

    I give this film 7 out of 10 Hulk Smash Fists.

     

    This entry was posted in A Guy's Perspective, Kid's Perspective, Movie Review.

    Leave a Reply

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.



    Categories
    Archive
    Author Bio
    Colleen Houck
    Colleen Houck

    New York Times Bestselling author Colleen Houck is a lifelong reader whose literary interests include action, adventure, paranormal, science fiction, and romance. When she's not busy writing, she likes to spend time chatting on the phone with one of her six siblings, watching plays, and shopping online. Colleen has lived in Arizona, Idaho, Utah, California, and North Carolina and is now permanently settled in Salem, Oregon with her husband and a huge assortment of plush tigers.