Colleen Houck


“Chapped rats and bats' wings, brandied worms and adders' stings, Goat's wool and owl's hoot, fish's tongue and dog's foot. Into the potion, all you go, add clockwork hearts, positioned so…" The Lantern's Ember

Colleen's blog


  • Movie Review Double Feature: Hercules & Guardians of the Galaxy

    August 21, 2014


    Hercules

    I always give spoilers so consider yourself warned. =)

    Colleen’s Movie Review

    Romance: There were allusions to romance through visions of Hercules’ dead family. There was nothing to swoon over though. And, let’s just say, there’s no way on this planet the woman who portrayed Hercules’ wife, who we got a very good look at by the way, had three babies. No. Way. I do like the nod to Disney with them calling her Megara.

    Hercules Dwayne Johnson Movie Wallpaper

    Special Effects: I was really going into this film hoping to see Hercules battling cool CGI monsters like they showed in the previews. Sadly, those were just visions of things he’d already done and we only got to see him fighting pretty much regular battles. Best special effects in this one were the fake abs on his armor.

    What I Liked: Dwayne Johnson is just fun to watch. I liked him with the little kids. His sidekicks were fun and interesting. Too bad we didn’t get to see more of them in action together.

    What I’d Change: This film didn’t know what it wanted to be. It didn’t have enough action for a an action movie and it didn’t have enough character development for it to be a relationship movie. There wasn’t much in it for me to root for. I would have loved to see the backstory on how the entourage of Hercules came to be. That was the real story and would have been much more interesting.

    The Tagline:

    Before he was a legend, he was a man.

    Actually he was a man with a made up legend who ended up being a man that fulfilled the legend though we never figured out how or why.

    Hunky Hero:

    I am actually a big fan of Dwayne Johnson. There’s something charming about him and he has more depth than he is often given credit for. He’s smart and he’s willing to take risks and make fun of himself. That’s very hunky in my opinion.

    The Villain:

    There were two and they were memorable but not in a good way. Joseph Fiennes the actor on the left came off as a jealous wimp incapable of doing anything dastardly himself (he always had to manipulate others into doing it). Not sure how a guy like him ended up being a king anyway. And then there was John Hurt who couldn’t make the transition from helpless and impotent to deadly and frightening. He just seemed crazy and I didn’t understand why a woman as clearly capable as his daughter was listened to anything he had to say. He didn’t wear power well.

    Best Line: Hercules: You want forgiveness? Ask my family for forgiveness.

    Best Scene: Probably the battle where Hercules and his friends rained down terror on an entire army by themselves and had fun while doing it.

    Recommended for YA Fans: You wouldn’t miss much by skipping it but if you’re into Hercules then…

    Compared to the Book: I’m gonna go ahead and let you know there’s very little mythology going on in this movie. There are brief scenes where you hope you get to see something but it never actually materializes. This movie didn’t add to the story or the legend of Hercules at all.

    Trailer:


     

    Grandma’s Review:

    Grandma’s Bio: My name is Kathleen and I’m Colleen’s mom. I’m a mother of seven and grandmother of eighteen. They’re all great. None of my kids are duds-you know, like the popcorn kernels that don’t pop. My father taught me to love science fiction and mysteries. I’m a dreamer whose secret wish was to be an actress and sing and dance on stage. I have lots of things I still want to do. A few of my favorite things include-discovering new restaurants, going to movies, traveling, seeing plays, children, my dogs, Elvis, reading books, The Beach Boys, and Rhett Butler because he doesn’t give a damn AND he can carry Scarlett up the stairs.

    Definition of Kicky-providing a kick or thrill, exciting

    Review: HERCULES 2014 WAS NOT JUST A REPEAT OF OTHER HERCULES MOVIES.

    It was a fresh new story with believable characters. Hercules was haunted by a sin from his past so he became a mercenary. With five faithful companions, he travels Greece selling his services for gold and using his legendary reputation to intimidate enemies. When the King of Thrace and his daughter seek Hercules’s help to defeat a savage warlord Hercules agrees to aid them. In so doing he finds he must become the hero he once was. As it turns out, the King is actually the real villain. He wants to rule the world and be all powerful. He is even willing to betray his own daughter and grandson to achieve his goals. Hercules really looks the part. He is so buff that it does not take much imagination to believe he can actually do the impossible tasks he does. The special effects were phenomenal. I give this movie a 9 out of 10 kicks.


    A Guy’s Perspective

    2014-02-01 22.54.02

    Bio: I’m Colleen’s husband, Brad. I’m the youngest of four kids. I’ve been Deaf since I was five so I watch every movie with caption glasses. I love sports and reading (I’ll admit I’ve read Twilight but prefer thrillers like Jack Reacher). My favorite ice cream is mint chocolate chip. I’ll never turn down a taco. I write poetry. My man credentials include: a high school career in wrestling, watching sports every time my wife is too busy to notice, a receding hairline, two repaired ACL’s, and a stockpile of Axe body wash.

    Review: 

    Yet Another Hercules Flick?

    After the first Hercules flick earlier this year, I was adamant against seeing a second take on the demi-God, even if Dwayne Johnson played the title role. But my wife persuaded me to attend, and it turns out, it wasn’t as half-bad as expected. A twist on Hercules’ legendary feats was a pleasant surprise and I laughed out loud at some clever moments.

    The director expects that most of us already know the 12 feats of Hercules, so he speeds through these events through the opening credits and within the first minute afterwards, then quickly brings us to the desperation of a king fearing an oncoming army that will easily dismantle his army and kingdom. They request the help of Hercules and his merry band of followers. Some rather expected twists occur, but we witness the strength and might of Hercules that brings the movie to a somewhat satisfying conclusion.

    Unlike the first Herc flick, the special effects starred in this feature, bringing convincing-looking mythical creatures to life. I enjoyed the battle scenes and the audience was treated to lessons in war strategy. The dialogue was crisp, interlaced with witty banter, and the acting was decent enough that it didn’t distract. Even Johnson was adequate in his role, but his prominent physique and power was clearly displayed with great effect. No Viewer should expect to take this film seriously and just kick up their feet and enjoy. I do have one quibble however—the unnecessary and mild profanity in the screenplay brought the film down a notch for me because it was so out of place in the mythological world.

    I would give this film 7.5 Herc Smash Fists.

     


     

    Guardians of the Galaxy

    Romance: Well there were some sparks between Star Lord and Gamora but it didn’t get a chance to progress at all. Though there was a very nice almost kiss and a healthy dose of tension. The humor got in the way a bit too much.

    Special Effects: Wow! Loved it. From the wildly creative ships that linked together to make a barrier to the cool stuff in the Collector’s stash to the ship and the prison, it was cool. So many awesome ideas. I was completely sucked in and the effects really added to the film. The tree guy was awesome and I loved everything he could do.

    What I Liked: Pretty much everything. Which was surprising because I didn’t think I’d like this at all. I rolled my eyes when I saw a tree and a raccoon for characters but they were the most interesting two personalities I think. Loved learning about all of the characters and how they came together and figured out how to be reluctant heroes.

    What I’d Change: Not sure the bad guy had enough time to really feel bad. The one who got away, Thanos, we know nothing about and the other one was just a caricature of a villain more than an actual monster of any kind. I thought Gamora’s sister had more to offer as a villain. Other than that it was awesome! Loved the music. Loved the characters. Loved the creativity of the world. Though I liked Groot I thought it was pretty much a waste of money to hire Vin Diesel to say, “I am Groot” 100 times. Still, guy’s gotta work.

    The Tagline:

    • You’re Welcome
    • All heroes start somewhere.
    • When things get bad, they’ll do their worst.
    • From the studio that brought you “The Avengers”

    Not sure any of these really sum it up. Maybe the third one that starts, “When Things Get Bad…” though I still think they could have come up with something better.

    Hunky Hero:

    Chris Pratt did a really good job. He reminds me of a young and stupid Han Solo. If I had a choice I’d rather kiss Han Solo even at his current age. Had a hard time respecting this guy though that didn’t seem to give pause to the women of various species he entertained during the film.

    The Villain: Like I said before, I don’t think the villains were fleshed out enough in the film with the exception of Michael Rooker. Loved him on The Walking Dead and really, really liked him here. He just commands attention on screen.

    I was actually more interested in Nebula and Korath than Ronan and Thanos.

    Best Line:

    Gamora: I’m a warrior, an assassin. I don’t dance.
    Peter Quill: Really? Well, on my planet, we have a legend about people like you. It’s called Footloose. And in it, a great hero, named Kevin Bacon, teaches an entire city full of people with sticks up their butts that, dancing, well, is the greatest thing there is.
    Gamora: …Who put the sticks up their butts?

    Also pretty much anything the raccoon says.

    Best Scene: There were a lot of good ones. I guess I’ll go with the jailbreak.

    Recommended for YA Fans: Yes.

    Compared to the Book: I’ve never read the comic so I don’t feel like I can say but the movie actually makes me want to read the comic which is a pretty rare thing for me.

    Trailer:


     

    Grandma’s Review:


    Grandma’s Bio: My name is Kathleen and I’m Colleen’s mom. I’m a mother of seven and grandmother of eighteen. They’re all great. None of my kids are duds-you know, like the popcorn kernels that don’t pop. My father taught me to love science fiction and mysteries. I’m a dreamer whose secret wish was to be an actress and sing and dance on stage. I have lots of things I still want to do. A few of my favorite things include-discovering new restaurants, going to movies, traveling, seeing plays, children, my dogs, Elvis, reading books, The Beach Boys, and Rhett Butler because he doesn’t give a damn AND he can carry Scarlett up the stairs.

    Definition of Kicky-providing a kick or thrill, exciting

    Review: “Guardians of the Galaxy” is a terrific Sci-Fi adventure comedy most will enjoy.

    The main character Peter Quill “Star Lord” (played by Chris Pratt) finds himself the object of an unrelenting bounty hunt after stealing a mysterious orb coveted by the villain Ronan. Ronan’s ambition threatens to destroy the universe. To evade the ever-persistent Ronan, Quill is forced into an unlikely alliance with four unique misfits. You have Zoe Saldana who plays the female heroine “Gamora,” Dave Batista who plays “Drax” the Destroyer, Vin Diesel who plays “Groot” the humanoid tree, and last but not least you have “Rocket” the gun toting raccoon. What was there not to like about this Marvel movie? We had tons of funny ridiculous situations and vintage pop tunes even to be entertained by. Quill, who reminds me of a young Harrison Ford in Indiana Jones, was very charming and believable. The acting was good but probably didn’t even have to be. The loyalty and sacrifice of Quill’s team was heart warming. When Groot sacrificed himself to save his friends I nearly cried. I wish there were lots more fun movies out there like this one to take your family to and enjoy together. I give this movie 8 out of 10 kicks. Very fun flick!


     

    A Guy’s Perspective

    Bio: I’m Colleen’s husband, Brad. I’m the youngest of four kids. I’ve been Deaf since I was five so I watch every movie with caption glasses. I love sports and reading (I’ll admit I’ve read Twilight but prefer thrillers like Jack Reacher). My favorite ice cream is mint chocolate chip. I’ll never turn down a taco. I write poetry. My man credentials include: a high school career in wrestling, watching sports every time my wife is too busy to notice, a receding hairline, two repaired ACL’s, and a stockpile of Axe body wash.

    Review:

    Another Marvelous Marvel Film

    I was actually looking forward to Guardians of the Galaxy, despite not knowing a thing about them, simply because it was a Marvel Comics film. Nearly without exception, all their previous superhero films have been highly entertaining, thus my expectations were pretty high. True to form, it did not disappoint. I did enjoy the characters, though not right off the bat, but it took some time to warm up to a band of selfish misfits who become united in a selfless cause to save the universe from a ruthless villain’s destructive ambitions.

    Rocket the raccoon brought a fierceness to the screen with his dripping sarcasm, smallish frame, and massive guns. Though he was the most compelling character for me, the other misfits did finally build a comradery after many quarrels, tiffs, and scuffles. Peter Quill (Chris Pratt) does somehow keep this merry band together against their will because he knows he will need each of them to succeed in thwarting Ronan the Accuser.

    The dialogue moves at a steady pace, and it is never boring. One must pay close attention lest he or she gets lost among the twists and turns throughout the two-hour film. Again, some minor profanity brings the film down a notch, (why do directors think this is remotely funny?) yet the action is engrossing and the special effects are spectacular. I should mention that I saw this in 3-D and many objects popped out of the screen, though I think 2-D would have been just as fun. I did like the sentimental nod toward Peter’s mother at the end of the film, which seamlessly tied everything together well. No doubt a sequel is in the making. I would give this film 8.5 Hulk Smash Fists.

    This entry was posted in A Guy's Perspective, Grandma's Review, Movie Review.

    One Response to Movie Review Double Feature: Hercules & Guardians of the Galaxy


    1. liandra isabel says:

      collen nao vou diser que nao daria minha vida para ,viver a vida que voce inventou vc acabou me dadando um sonho que nao posso realiazar,vc me deu oque eu quro ter obrigada.
      se vc pelo menos ler meu email eu te agradeço obrigado

    Leave a Reply

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.



    Categories
    Archive
    Author Bio
    Colleen Houck
    Colleen Houck

    New York Times Bestselling author Colleen Houck is a lifelong reader whose literary interests include action, adventure, paranormal, science fiction, and romance. When she's not busy writing, she likes to spend time chatting on the phone with one of her six siblings, watching plays, and shopping online. Colleen has lived in Arizona, Idaho, Utah, California, and North Carolina and is now permanently settled in Salem, Oregon with her husband and a huge assortment of plush tigers.